1000 Reps Please

Q.I.C.Short Barrel
The PAXLook Out Below, Peek-A-Boo, Church Lady (Respect), Kindergarden Cop, Washer, ATM, Hope Solo, Courtesy Flush, Bambi, Whisper (Respect), Celine Dion, Pine Tar, Deflated (Respect)
Workout Date04/20/2018
A.O. Pitchfork

T-Claps to MJ and Celine Dion for getting to the workout early and helping me set up. Just a reward for there due diligence, I hit them up with smooth soulful sounds of………..you know it……….Hall & Oats greatest hits. I mean seriously can anything get a bunch of dudes ready to sweat, and grunt it out with each other like Private Eyes, Maneater, One on One………..I think not. Of course lets go ahead and address the elephant in the room, or should I say glorious unicorn. That is we had Bambi, ATM, and Celine Dion all at the same workout together! I know, I’m as pumped as MJ was about calling them out for it. Needless to say, as the mumble chatter started to rise (due to the awesome music selection), in roles LOB with not only weights but a role of toilet paper. 3 minutes til workout and I just figured I would fill him in on the workout when he got to the bus loop. However, by the time we started the mission statement, who do I see in the circle, LOB! Dude has got some serious pooping skills, I mean I got a hundo on that b-hole, he is the fast pooper in F3. I mean that think has been used so much……. alright lets just begin.

Mission statement: I nailed it! But nobody could here me because of the sweet sounds coming out of my speaker. Plus everybody was laughing and making fun of it……..jealousy boys, per jealousy. (I’ll burn you guys a tape)

Disclaimer: I am not a professional, modify as needed.

Warm up: SSH x 20 IC

Imperial Walkers x 20 IC

Little baby arm circles (forward then backwards)

The thang:

Mosey to the track and partner up. Change to the tunes to a predesignated  play list I have for getting after it!  A great mixture of old and new rock, which by the way, Church Lady was on top of. Not only could this dude name the song, but the artist, band, name of CD and year it came out. That’s it church, next time a kick a$$ concert is in town. Were going and probably have to uber it home………let’s move on.

Dora style. 1st pax exercise, 2nd pax run a lap

Alternating hand move merkins x100

Flys x100

Shoulder press x100

Shoulder shrugs x100 (w/ CMU’s)

Upright rows x100

Calf Raises x100

Squats x100

Colt 45’s x10

Tricep Extensions x100

Tire flip with a burpee x50 (flip the tire do a burpee, partner flips it back, then does a burpee) Only exercise we didn’t run.

Close to a thousand reps. We didn’t get in all of the exercise but came real close and I had us down for close to a 1.5 miles. T-claps fellas! Finished up with forming a line and flipping the tire back to it’s holding spot while doing a burpee each time. Back to the flags.

Finished up with das flutters x20 IC and LBC’s x 20 IC.

Announcements:

Convergence with FIA @ #thestation 4/28

5/19 W.A.R. Fund 5K & Mud Run

Prayer Request:

Andrew Brunson

Pine Tar’s neighbor (Carl)-Stroke in CCU at GHS.

Levi-1 1/2 year old at Brookwood Church that is in critical condition with blood clots, swelling on the brain, having to have blood transfusions, etc.

Gentlemen it is always the worst part of my day getting up that early, to do all the dump stuff that we do. I can’t imagine life without it. Thanks

SYITG

Short Barrel

FiA Greenville / F3 Golden Strip convergence

Q.I.C.Benign
The PAX22 strong (see below)
Workout Date04/17/2018
A.O. Golden Strip

Last month, Regroup (one of the high-impact ladies of FiA Greenville) suggested that FiA converge with the men of F3.  Realizing that any outside influence would be positive for the men of F3 Golden Strip, YHC jumped at the opportunity.  13 Golden Strippers (oops), 1 PAX from Fort Mill (welcome, Maximus!), and 6 ladies from FiA, not realizing that today was not April 17th but January 107th (check the weather), left the warm fartsack behind in favor of fitness, fellowship, and faith.

 

PAX: Fia Hamm (FiA), Pixel (FiA), Regroup (FiA), Felix (FiA), Where’s Waldo (FiA), One More (FiA), Courtesy Flush, Road Trip, Church Lady (respect), Lt. Dangle, Look Out Below, Cocoon, Pine Tar, Gymboree (respect), Whisper (respect), Elmer, Fred, Nature Boy (respect),  Ron Swanson, Cyclone, Maximus (F3 Fort Mill), YHC

CONDITIONS: 31 degrees, dark

 

MISSION:

The mission of F3 is to plant, grow, and serve men’s small workout groups for the invigoration of male community leadership.

The mission of FiA is to make each other stronger in all areas of our lives.

 

DISCLAIMER: No one would mistake YHC for a professional.

 

WARM-UP:

Imperial walkers x 20 IC

Side straddle hops x 40 IC

Overhead claps x 20 IC

Merkins x 10 IC

Indian run (2 lines) for 2 laps around the front parking lot

 

THANG:

Mosey to the track and count off 1 to 4for a carousel:

1- run a lap

2- merkins AMRAP

3- BBSUs AMRAP

4- squats AMRAP

2, 3, and 4 do exercises until the group 1 runners return.  1 goes to 2, 2 goes to 3, etc.  Two total rounds.

 

Mosey to the benches behind the school.

1 and 2- wall sit x 1 minute

3 and 4- dips on the benches AMRAP x 1 minute

Flapjack

 

Mosey to Nippler’s Hill.

1- Jailbreak to the stop sign and mosey back down

2- burpees AMRAP

3- backwards run up hill AMRAP

4- LBCs AMRAP

2, 3, and 4 do exercises until the group 1 runners return.  1 goes to 2, 2 goes to 3, etc.

 

Mosey back to the flags for 6 minutes of Mary.

 

MARY:

BurpMerk 6 down to 1

Flutters x 40 IC

Tempo Merkins x 10 IC

Captain Thor (1:4 ratio BBSUs to American Hammers) up to 6:24

 

CIRCLE OF TRUST:

Announcements:

-War Fund 5K 5/19 – http://greenvillewarfund.com

-Reedy River Fun 5K this weekend

Prayer requests:

-Nature Boy’s friend with glioblastoma multiforme

-Andrew Brunson (American Christian missionary imprisoned in Turkey)

-F3 PAX with recent relapse into substance addiction (but is now 2 weeks clean again!)

 

NAKED MOLESKIN:

This month marks 19 months that YHC has been involved in F3.  YHC is forever grateful for the EH’ing of his good friend Sammy who persisted until YHC posted for the first time 9/23/2016.  Like most men involved in F3, YHC did not know how badly he needed F3 until he actually came out and became a regular.  YHC was a potted plant- a sad clown- and did not even know it.  How many men and women live and work among us who need what we have with F3 and FiA?  Men in particular live lonely existences with few real friends, but a group like this provides an easy and low-pressure way to get involved in the lives of others.  YHC’s challenge this week is to identify someone who needs what we have and give it away.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12: Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil.   For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!   Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone?   And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

As always, it was a pleasure to lead.

 

SYITG,

Benign

The P200, Pringles, Purple Juice and Fat Missy

Q.I.C.RoadTrip
The PAXJohnny 5, Uncle Remus, Data, Quickie, Padre, Third Base, Mint Julep, Look Out Below, ATM, Short Barrel, Thumper, RoadTrip
Workout Date03/25/2018
A.O. Pitchfork

CONDITIONS – Sunny and warm, then dark and cold – repeat x 2

History was made on March 24 as 12 Swamp Rabbit weirdos became the first team to ever ruck the Palmetto 200 Relay.  Wait, what was that noise?  Oh just #FiA ladies swooning and fainting all across the Carolinas.  But there is so much more to this story and here’s how it all went down, well at least the stuff that was appropriate for publishing.

SUMMER 2017, back when these 12 men were still friends. RoadTrip was already at the center of a nasty custody battle between Team Urban and Team ATM.  It was just like high school when the chorus and band were fighting for RoadTrip’s talent.  But for those who don’t know, RoadTrip has struggled with identity issues…a runner born in a rucker’s body.  ATM, struggling with the same issues, eventually secured parental rights.

Soon after this pre-Olympic team was built, ATM had a “brilliant idea.” And typically when ATM comes up with any kind of idea, it is nothing short of ridiculous, like rucking the P200.  So the PAX did what most grown men do when they hear a dumb idea…grunt, drink more beer and commend him on a brilliant idea.  But turns out, the only reason ATM wanted to do this is so Short Barrel could hear heavy breathing again.  Anyway, Short Barrel is in school and apparently still intoxicated from his pledge party last night because he suggested we pair up so each PAX rucks 2x the miles as any other team.   That’s an awesome idea Short Barrel, like a parachute that opens on impact.  But just like that, the pre-planning was set in motion.  You see, it was after  RoadTrip fell for the switch and bait that Team ATM became Team #ZeroRucksGiven (#ZRG).

Honestly, YHC figured this idea would never come to fruition so I played along. But I wrong as ATM started assigning the PAX “jobs.” ATM also selected duos based on pace, body size, eye color, astrological sign and assigned them to a Team Van, which were appropriately named after the hard-charging Cheese Steak who, at 63, pushes himself to the limit every workout.  If he can push it, so can we and so Van 1 became “Team Cheese.”   Van 2 became “Team Steak” … also because of their love meat (draw your own conclusions).  And of all the original signees, only Lite Brite defected Team #ZRG and was discharged from F3 because his new job cut into his early morning training times.  But looking back, he could have totally done it because these lazy asses didn’t train hard at all and they still did it.  But we did skip the leg days because we were perfectly happy with buns of cinnamon rather than buns of steel.

So the search for a new replacement began. Hot For Teacher was in, then he was out because he still had to buy and sell a few more rucks.  My Two Dads was captivated but didn’t fall for it and Runoff retired from rucking after his inaugural ruck of 12 miles with 2 dumbbells in an Adidas backpack.  And then there is Mayo…but let’s be honest, no one has seen Mayo since he was adopted by 3B and tied him up in his backyard.  Besides he couldn’t leave Momma Dukes home alone with youngins Bo and Luke because they would just harass Sheriff Little and wrangle “nakes.”

So Johnny 5 took out a personal ad on Craig’s List and this is what is said…

If you like Piña Coladas and think sleeping in a van is insane
If you´re not into running, and you have half a brain
If you like rucking past midnight, in the backroads of this State
We’re the P200 team that you long for, come with us and master……this race

He received many pics from a few anonymous “Teddy Bears” until Uncle Remus comes zip-a-doo-daaing along and is intrigued by the proverbial briar patch. He was the perfect fit because he wasn’t familiar with rucking or the P200.  So PAX were teamed and paired as follows:

TEAM CHEESE

  • Johnny 5 and Uncle Remus made up Team #SLGB (short for So Long Gay Boys). It’s like Upside Down in Stranger Things…or a gay night club. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Remus just fell into this one, either way, no one asked…we just went with it.
  • Data and Quickie made up Team Old Bad Quickie Brown Mutha Rucker Farts. And those two will do anything for a patch…anything.
  • Padre and Third Base made up Team Paddington because they bear crawled for their legs…each other’s legs…basically anyone’s legs that got in their way.

TEAM STEAK

  • Short Barrel and ATM copyrighted #Team Dessert because they had a willingness to seek and destroy every local bakery and keep the team pace “Honest” by never missing a selfie opp. They were a perfect pair, just like those cute matching salt n pepper shakers from Pier One.
  • RoadTrip and Thumper started out as the Road Warrior Express but later succumbed to the Mulky Brothers after a long night with the coyotes and Monks Corner rush hour.
  • Mint Julep and Look Out Below became Team BBC (for Bourbon Butt Club) or just Hot Toddy’s because they have great asses.

1 WEEK BEFORE LAUNCH – It’s getting close. The Twitter group chat is giddy.  I mean, I haven’t seen a group of guys this excited since the Jedi returned in 1983.  But it pays to be an Enterprise loyal customer because RoadTrip just got upgraded with matching top-of-the-line Tahoes, at least that’s what ATM thinks…text conversation went like this

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A FEW DAYS LATER – ATM had a plan of retaliation for RoadTrip

 

Little did ATM know, but RoadTrip had already unleashed his inner CSI and created another plan to debunk his #fakenews. Snap… and just like that, ATM’s was “replacement” was secured faster than Dale Earnhardt’s pit crew could change 4 tires and top off the fuel.  But all joking aside, I think ATM’s feelings were hurt and his pride was a little deflated…wait, WHO the F’ keeps asking about Deflated?  DAMMIT DANGLE!!!!

T MINUS 4 DAYS – Thumper publicizes his new rash.  It might be Tuberculosis.  It might be polio…actually we think it was rabies.  Either way it’s probably from all those visits to that Dr. Poop guy he’s always tweeting about.  And why the hell does he still go see that wack job….never mind I think I just answered my own question.  But never fear Dr. Poop gave him a prescription.  The bad news…it was the wrong prescription.   The good news…he should be free of heartworms for the rest of the summer.

D-DAY – THURSDAY 2pm – It’s time to put this man…I mean plan, into motion with a fine detailed schedule that only benefits Team Steak because Team Cheese has already started the relay and we don’t really care about them. Short Barrel comes in hotter than Church lady and fresh off his 9 weeks test with RoadTrip and ATM shooting snap guns in the air and blaring Whitesnake from a pair of Bluetooth speakers.  In fact, they don’t even have the truck in park before they pop the seal on one of the 27 cans of Pringles supplied by Road Trip.  Not to mention the new stickers on Short Barrel’s truck declaring Bama Nation as the Champs. But don’t worry, he’s not flipping or floppy, it’s just part of a bet he lost…basically another “brilliant” idea.  I don’t know about you, but I “can’t wait” for the day he can wipe my ass and nurse me back to health.  Anyway, they find Mint Julep sitting in a worn out fold up chair in the garage wearing an Apollo Creed tank top and…well nothing else.  He’s high fiving himself in a mirror while he searches GIFs on an old Radio Shack computer.  Look Out Below rolls in passing out beers and Mint Julep’s Oreo cookies in order to close the lid of the snack container.  All while Thumper tries to figure out how to set up an office in the back row of the Van.  This Ruckin’ Spring Break has started.  Queue Fat Missy.

Anyway, you probably wonder what a pack of chunky monkeys eat during a grueling 200 mile adventure. Berries? Nuts? Energy gels? Protein Bars?  Nope, nope and nope…What do you think this is?  Some kind of fat ass camp?  This race is all about carb overloading and over-tapering with a wide variety of Costco sized snacks like chips, M&M’s, cookies and a tub of cookie dough.  Basically, we rucked 207 miles, pooped in 7 counties and still managed to gain a team cumulative 14.5 pounds in the process.  And some jokester, probably Mint Julep’s nosey ass neighbor, put some bananas and oranges in the van, which were used to take out any skinny ass ultra-runners that attempted to “kill” us.

Mint Julep takes the wheel and heads to Columbia…sort of…because who knew Woodruff is on the way to Columbia.  Don’t worry, it’s a short cut…Anyway, Mint Julep must be auditioning for Fast n Furious 19, because it’s like he’s hot doggin’ Ponch’s Honda Civic and seeking out every pothole and railroad crossing between Woodruff and Gaston.  I’m sure Fat Missy Elliot’s velvety vocals gave him street cred to outrun any Smokey who dared to stop this tour bus.  RoadTrip was bouncing around in the back seat…check that…RoadTrip AND the back seat were bouncing around because the seat wasn’t even anchored to the van.  YHC was just hoping those back doors didn’t open because…anybody seen RoadTrip?   Not since the railroad track crossing by the Piggly Wiggly in Swansea.  But I’m not complaining, I’m trying to keep quiet so Thumper can sell camels…(I swear I heard him talk about camels.)  Besides, I don’t want to drive because I’m depressed about the living arrangements and pooping in pot-a-jons for the next 48 hours.  Anyway, we haven’t been on the road more than 20 minutes and this van already smells like swamp ass and I can’t imagine how any of us will ever remain friends after this.  And have you ever tried to sell medical equipment with the sounds of butt jokes and grown man farts in the background? Well Thumper has.

We arrive in Columbia just in time to tour a Mexican liquor / tattoo shop which left just enough time to see Team Cheese launch Leg 4, find out Quickie had a redneck brother (may he RIP) and Data and Remus pass out MRE’s.  And as if we didn’t already have enough food, Team Steak was already in hot pursuit of a place to carb load to get the Pringle taste out of our mouths before we started our rotations.  In trying to decide where to eat, RoadTrip just suggested we just park and eat ass but surprisingly only two takers and their names have been withheld to protect the guilty.  Then like a mirage in the Sahara, we stumble upon a lone street light and a quaint eatery in in the blustering metropolis of Calhoun.  It was called the Calhoun House of Pizza which was Greek themed and was run by Hispanics…hmm. But that’s OK, Thumper had an app to teach us Spanish in under three minutes.  The only thing that would have made that place better is if they sold Sun Drop and day old hot dogs from a roller cooker in the parking lot.  Afterwards, Short Barrel and ATM banged out their next leg with a dreadful elevation change of 361 feet, which is about how long it took for them to finish.  They probably would have made better time had they not polished off 3 feet of meatball subs.

Team Cheese was holed up in one room at the Motel 8, but at least they left the light on for them.  All the while Team Steak hunkered down in a church parking lot between a dumpster and an air condition unit.  If this van is a rocking, don’t. ..oh never mind.  RoadTrip fought insomnia by watching gay prison shows on Netflix while Thumper was able to sleep in the most awkwardly small places while holding conversations about camels with himself.

The final rotation leg for Team Steak put Look Out Below and Mint Julep on a quiet stroll thru the Santee State Park in the dark hours of the night but the thought of prepaid showers pushed them through. That is until they arrived at the exchange point…which was inside the park…which was closed…and gated.  In other words the van could not get to them, so they had to ruck another mile to the van.  Oh yea, the showers weren’t open yet either.  F’ Ranger Rick and thus the 1st casualty on the #ZRG Kill List.

FRIDAY – At the Van transition, hotel keys were exchanged and Team Steak hit a Waffle House before naps and showers. In case you are keeping track, that’s each of the Team Steak PAX with two race legs and two restaurants in the first 12 hours.  Suck it Team Urban.  Back at the hotel, shower rotations were now in full swing…speaking of full swing, the bathroom door flings open to reveal Short Barrel in a Slim Goodbody suit…or it could have been Under-Roos…seeking tucked vs untucked advice.  He dabbed then disappeared into the florescent glow of shower steam like Frankie Avalon going back to the malt shop in the sky.  But then there is Short Barrel’s version where he was sitting on the jon reading his bible, when Mint Julep kicks open the door and demands all of the hotel sized hair products. The more I think about it, this must have been a dream, because it was never mentioned again.  Anyway, I am sure the hotel staff wonders what kind of orgy just went down in this room because between Team Cheese and Team Steak, we went through 14 towels, 8 hand towels and 13 wash cloths in a matter of hours.  But we cuddled and banked some much needed ZZZs because we still have 36 hours to go.  That didn’t stop Short Barrel and ATM from double bunking in a pull out cot and exchanging sweet talk…sweet like cronuts, Oreos, Twinkies and chocolate thingies.

Showered up, rested and hungry…See, here we were looking for food again…did I pick the best team or what? Suck it Team Urban.  Team Cheese met up at Greater St Paul UMC around 12 pm ready for our prepaid lunch.  However Rev Jones said they don’t do lunch till 4pm.  Are you effing kidding me?  Apparently in Cross SC, you pay for lunch and you receive a blessing and a handshake in return.  Somebody call Dangle, we captured the Rev and tied him on the roof of the van where he remained until he escaped somewhere near Cordsville.  Long story short, no one got their prepaid lunch and thus Rev Alfonza “No Show” Jones became the 2nd casualty on the #ZRG Kill List and the snack bins of both vans took a heavy hit.

Short Barrel and ATM start their first leg of the day, which took abnormally longer than expected.  Ready to send out a search unit, we see their blurry shadows crest a distant hill.  Turns out ATM blew a front left but Short Barrel was able to keep him out of the ditch and in the center of their selfies…I’m talking 100’s of selfies.  And ATM’s blister!! Holy shit!  That thing looking like one of Aunt Jemima’s flapjacks big enough make Uncle Ben blush.  He packed it with peanut butter in order to make friends with all of the free range dogs encountered along the way.  Thus ATM’s Feet became the 3rd casualty on the #ZRG Kill List

RoadTrip and Thumper killed a 10 miler but not before a crossbow sniper almost killed Thumper.  There was a lot of time for reflection and turns out YHC likes the longer rucks, especially when they are done by someone other than me.  The RunGo App with talking Betty kept us company as she searched for some dude with the initials G.P.S. for two freaking hours.  After stumbling back to the van, Short Barrel offered his pillow for RoadTrip’s head.  Little head or big head?  Either one, just don’t fart on it, because nobody wants pink eye.  But Betty never stopped talking, which is probably why that G.P.S. guy left and never came back.  Thus The RunGo App became the 4th casualty on the #ZRG Kill List.

Mint Julep and Look Out Below finished up their first leg of the day and crawled into a local Subway, where the veteran sandwich artist, MeeMaw was making everyone’s parmesan dreams come true, well except for Mint Julep’s and Look Out Below’s. She was very detail oriented, and Mint Julep and Look Out Below almost died while waiting, but at least the chain gang thinks we are winning the “Amazing Race.” Nonetheless, MeeMaw became the 5th casualty on the #ZRG Kill List.

Rotations rotated thru and Mint Julep and Look Out Below were back up. RoadTrip and Thumper were greeted by ATM and Short Barrel grinning like a mule eating briars.  They had just killed another sleeve of Pringles and were happier than a hobo with a ham sandwich because they had concocted the most elaborate plan yet…We are going to Applebee’s so Celine Dion can touch me like this and hold me like that, drink some beer and watch some basketball.  Then we will pick up Mint Julep and Look Out Below and check into the Hampton Inn, which includes…you guessed it…free breakfast.  Damn I love these guys…suck it Team Urban. Except the Applebee’s crew was too busy making plans for Biker Week and left Mint Julep and Look Out Below stranded in yet another State Park in the darkness of night and this train was 30 minutes away from ground zero.  But we didn’t panic.  We finished our beers while we discussed how to pick up our brothers in a wildlife infested forest in a timely manner.  Yea right…we didn’t make it.  Luckily Team Cheese Uber-ed Team Hot Toddy to the next checkpoint where Team Steak could pick them up as well as some guy named Doug.  After being stranded in the woods by his closest friends and fighting off a tea-bagging ninja squirrel, Mint Julep just wanted a beer, but Short Barrel was too full from Applebee’s to reach into the cooler and ATM was too busy licking his feet.  Thus Ranger Rick became the 6th casualty (and 1st double kill because he’s like that Vorhees freak from Crystal Lake) on the #ZRG Kill List.

Now back to the plan. On the way to the hotel, we scout out…you guessed it, a good place to eat tomorrow.  Have you ever seen a group of sweaty dudes check into a swanky hotel carrying plastic totes as luggage?  Don’t ask questions, we’re with the band and don’t blow our cover because we don’t need any groupies tagging along.   Look Out Below and Thumper sipped their fine bourbon neat while discussing wine tastings, cigars and silk socks.  The aroma of bourbon filled the room and RoadTrip fought Jim Beam vomit flashbacks from college while he checked his eyelids for cracks.

SATURDAY – Short Barrel and ATM got a head start while the remainder of Team Steak slept in. Their pace got progressively slower.  Turns out they have been posing as homeless and receiving food and rides to the next checkpoints from the kindhearted this whole time.  But those plans changed as they crossed the IOP connector at sunrise when Short Barrel ran block because ATM had an epiphany and was in need of some new gloves.  Either way, I guess Short Barrel was serious when he said he was going to be in Charleston Saturday night, even if that meant someone was going to drive him there.

Salty breezes met us at daybreak Saturday morning and some of the skinny ass runners are finally catching up with us now.  A pantless Look Out Below chased them away while Short Barrel hurled bananas and oranges at them.   It was about this time our team was getting delirious and Out of Touch, but Hall and Oates kept us grounded One on One.  And if you know anything about this team by now is that You Can’t Go For That, No Can Do.  Good news is that we are still in first place in the rucking division and we have our pre-paid Chick-Fil-A breakfast waiting on us…or not.  We came thru too early and missed it, but luckily we were able to pick it up when we came back through the checkpoint the second time.  It was comfort food of the highest order. I can’t even tell you how good it tasted with a beer after 192 miles and 44 hours. But we still haven’t finished this thing yet.  Just roll up the windows because at this point a fart would be a refreshing fragrance in this van.  Speaking of vans, not much else is known about Team Cheese other than Padre made the PAX sit on plastic bags on the front two inches of their seat.  3B and Data never removed their rucks, Johnny 5 wears capri jeans, Quickie has some suggestive parking lot poses and Remus already listed his ruck on ebay.  And Soccer Mom poops a lot, while Pet Stain does not…wait wrong van, wrong team.

Anyway, Mint Julep and Look Out Below finish this thing out while the others built a glorious pyramid of Pringles cans in the back window the van. Look Out Below crossed the finish line while showing off an oozing rash on his lower back from his ruck sack.  Dangle’s gonna hook him up with a tattoo artist to tattoo the outline as a tribute to the P200.  Mint Julep crossed the finish line looking like he just rolled out of Great Clips, while Short Barrel, who was rested up and slinging back beers, looked like he rode thru a car wash in a truck bed…untucked.  But whatever, everyone is ready for a beer-taco-beer.  Oh yea, that’s 1500 people and 1 taco line.  Way to go Moe, you effing moron.  Thus Moe was the 7th casualty on the #ZRG Kill List.

But seriously I can’t tell you how many people waved, saluted, honked, nodded, or stopped for an encouraging word or autograph and photo opp when they saw Ole Glory coming down the road. They were black, white, Hispanic, young, old, gay, straight and everything in between.   Many teams heard about us; they gave us high fives and cheers of encouragement.  Some teams were even giddy like they just saw Justin Bieber trying on jeans at The GAP.  We just poked their eyes (and Look Out Below just poked em) and kidnapped their taco tickets.  #Savage.  Other than that, we obeyed all course rules as far as we know and were careful to avoid traffic cams so little video evidence is available of any shenanigans.  Plus, one of the unexpected perks – every port-a-jon was filled with sparkling virgin purple juice…when we arrived at least.  Best of all, this team is now common law and registered on Adam and Eve.com.

It was a pleasure and quite an accomplishment that I am proud to be a part of. Suck it Team Urban.  But would we do it again?  Well, ask us this time next year.  And speaking of Team Urban…he and Pet Stain were last seen in that long ass taco line in Mt Pleasant so we’re taking credit for the kill even if there is no body to identify #CerealKillers…thus Urban and Pet Stain are the 8th and 9th casualties on the #ZRG Kill List.  And while you are at it, somebody better call homicide because #ZERORUCKSGIVEN just killed the P200…beyotch!  And thus the Palmetto 200 is the 10th and final casualty on the #ZRG Kill List and history was made.  See ACA, Last Will Be First (#LWB1st) sort of…we may have started first and finished last, but it is the same thing.  But we started a trend as many ruck teams are already forming for 2019, but take our advice…Don’t Go For That, No Can Do because that’s a stupid idea.  Or just call us at 719-266-2837 and we’ll give you advice.

Until the next ridiculously stupid idea, SYITG…or not…whatever…I don’t care anymore

The R.T. is O.U.T.

Team CHEESE

Team STEAK

#F3MAtinee Arm Blowout Bonanza

Q.I.C.Uncle Remus
The PAXRoadTrip, Lt. Dan, Ditka, Pacer, Data
Workout Date04/16/2018
A.O. Matinee Monday

Short warm up – we just ran down to Falls Park w/ 30# rucks… who needs a warmup anyhow…

Mosey to traffic circle at the bottom of Furman College Way.

Runners do:
10 burpees – run to station 2
10 Hand release Merkins – run to station 3
10 4 ct. American Hammers – run to station 4
10 dips – run to station 5 at the gate
10 – 8 ct. body builders
run back down stopping at all stations on the way down – repeat for 30 min

Ruckers do – Gorilla Complex Deluxe:
ruck curls
ruck upright rows
ruck overhead press
ruck tricep extensions (either half of what you’ve been doing this round or 10 per round.. whatever)
10 Merkins

Traffic circle: 20 of each
Station 2: 16 of each
Station 3: 12 of each
Station 4: 8 of each
Station 5: 4 of each

Each PAX take a turn carrying 60# sandbag to the next station

Head back down hill doing 1 burpee into a sandbag toss x3
The other PAX do walking lunge while tailing the burpee/sandbag guy

Stop at stone bridge and mosey back to the flag for bear crawl/sandbag drag (approx 30 yards each)

Runners are back – we’re done!

Taxes Done at Q School

Q.I.C.Spackler
The PAXInspector Gadget, EIEIO, Double Windsor, Generic, Honkers, Clip On, FNG (Tuna Steak), Ashy Larry, Soda, Anchor Down, Fabreeze, French Toast
Workout Date04/16/2018
A.O. Dog Pound

Q School. Perfect time for an FNG

Mission/F3/5 Core Principles/Disclaimer

Warm Up:
SSH x 30 IC
IW c 20 IC
Merkins x 10 IC
Annie x 30 seconds each arm.
Dips x 20 IC

Thang: TAXES. Since you only have one day left.
Tony Hawk Burpees x 20 OYO
Alternating Shoulder Touches x 30 IC
XY’s x 30 IC.
Empty Wheelbarrow across parking lot. Partner exercise. Switch and come back.
Squerkins x 20 each partner.

Back to wall for Split Squats x 20 IC.

Back to AO to allow each of PAX to call out an exercise X 5 IC. Everyone nailed it.

COT:
Prayers for: Ashy Larry sister
Gideon’s House
Men missing from F3
Praise that French Toast is back
May 24 Homes of Hope Dinner
April 26 Ducks Unlimited Dinner
May 4. Swamp Rabbit 5K

Welcome FNG Tuna Steak.

Playground extravaganza

Q.I.C.Mint Julep
The PAXShort Barrel, Strange Brew, Cyclone, Ron Swanson, Deflated (Respect), Pythagoras (Respect), Nature Boy (Respect), LOB, Runners (Whisper, NYOPT, 3rd Wheel...I mean RT), MJ
Workout Date04/14/2018
A.O. Pitchfork

12 PAX (9 WO & 3 Runners) decided to kick Saturday morning in the junk and break a little sweat…and wind.  Whisper and NYOPT did their normal Saturday morning jaunt…oh wait here comes RT to ruin their special time together.  Way to go RT.   9 PAX circled up and got their day going.

Mission Statement – Nailed it

Disclaimer – still have no idea what I’m doing but it’ll suck

Warmup

SSH x 25 IC

Mountain Climbers x 20 IC

Merkins x 10 IC

Hillbillies x 20 IC

 

Lets mosey to the playground #1/track

Side note…as we’re on our mosey we noticed the construction of a nice new shiny playground…it’s a doozy and lots of fun will be had there.  That didn’t sound right…

Each Pax does the following…sprint 100m/10 hand release merkins/sprint back 100m/10 pull-ups or rows at the playground…That is 1 round.

Goal was to do 10 rounds total or as many as you can by 6:30.  A few got 10 rounds, everyone hustled, Short Barrel mumbled a few choice words to YHS from time to time.  It’s 6:30 lets move on to the next one

 

Mosey to Playground #2 for 11’s

11’s…Burpees & hanging toes to bar…get after it.

Short Barrel’s mumble chatter turned into repeated finger pointing…not the index finger.

 

Mosey to b-ball court & partner up

P1 – Al Gore on the wall

P2 – bear crawl to end of court & backwards bear crawl back

3 rounds each…done…let’s mosey back to the flags

 

Mary

LBC’s x 25 IC

Crab cakes x 20 OYO

BBSU x 20 OYO

Plank holds to finish it up

 

Announcements…Team Avia Mud Run 5/19 (taking sponsorships now)…War Fund 5k 5/19…No PF on 4/17 & 4/28 as we “converge” with Fia…

 

Prayers…Wilson in Summerville…Andrew Brunson…Drake…Elmer’s friend…All Service men & women

 

It was a pleasure to lead such a fine group of gentlemen this morning.  God Bless!  SYITG

Return of Tank Top Friday to Pitchfork

Q.I.C.Benign
The PAXSammy, Strange Brew, Sticky Willy, Mint Julep, Name Your Own Price Tool, Soccer Mom, Cheesesteak, Lieutenant Dangle, Whisper, YHC
Workout Date04/14/2018
A.O. Pitchfork

9 PAX joined YHC for the return of Tank Top Friday.  Soccer Mom, Cheesesteak, and YHC celebrated the occasion in style.  Never mind that it was only 52 degrees- it was warm enough for Sammy to drop the tights under the sweatpants for the first time in 2018.

Mission: The mission of F3 is to plant, grow, and serve men’s small workout groups for the invigoration of male community leadership.

Disclaimer: no professionals here

 

Warm-up:

Imperial walkers x 25 IC

Monkey humpers x 25 IC

Side straddle hops x 25 IC

Arm circles

Overhead claps (i.e. Ray Lewis) x 25 IC

 

Thang:

Mosey to the speedway with dumbbells for the beatdown.

Partner up.  Partner 1 does a set number of burpees while partner 2 does another exercise AMRAP.  Then flapjack.  Yep, it was as fun as it sounds.

15 burpees, curls AMRAP

14 burpees, overhead presses AMRAP

13 burpees, lateral flies AMRAP

Indian run x 1 lap

12 burpees, goblet squats AMRAP

11 burpees, triceps extensions AMRAP

10 burpees, BBSUs AMRAP

Indian run x 1 lap

9 burpees, upright rows AMRAP

8 burpees, front arm raises AMRAP

7 burpees, LBCs AMRAP

Indian run x 1 lap

6 burpees, flutters AMRAP

5 burpees, bent over flies AMRAP

4 burpees, squat jumps AMRAP

Indian run x 1 lap

Mosey back to the flags for 6MOM.

 

Mary:

BurpMerk 6 down to 1

Floyd Mayweathers x 10 IC

American hammers with dumbbells x 15 IC

Flutters x 20 IC

1 round of Guantanamo in a circle

 

BURPEE TOTAL: 120

 

Circle of trust:

Announcements:

-Mud Run coming up

-WAR Fund Memorial 5K run walk 5/19 Click here.

Prayer requests:

-Stephanie (Soccer Mom’s M) with neck pain

-Andrew Brunson (American Christian missionary imprisoned in Turkey; “trial” to start soon)

-Whisper and Hulk Smash investigating employment options

-Thumper with important job interview

 

It is always a blessing to lead!

SYITG!

Benign

 

Hillway to 7 and Cora Dora

Q.I.C.Generic
The PAXSpackler, Inspector Gadget, Febreze, Anchor Down, Soda, JK2, Honkers, Deep Dish (FNG
Workout Date04/13/2018
A.O. Dog Pound

Had an FNG (Welcome Deep Dish!) so we stated the core principles, disclaimer, and mission.

Warm-up:
SSH x 25 IC
Merkins x 20 IC
Imperial Walkers x 25 IC

Mosey down to football field and, inspired by Double Windsor’s backblast from Thursday, planned to do a Cora Dora. But first, we did a Hillway to 7 since the stairs at the football field are dangerously dark.

Squat x 1 & Merkin x 1 at the bottom of the hill.
Run to the top.
Burpee x 1 at the top.
Run back down.
Rinse and repeat 6 times until performing 7 of each exercise.

10 count from I.G.

Now for the Cora Dora:

Heels to Heaven x 100
LBC x 200
Flutter x 300

A bit of time left so a modified burpee builder around the football field:
1st corner – Merkins x 10
2nd corner – Merkins x 10 + Squats x 10
3rd corner – Burpees x 10
4th corner – regroup and mosey back to shovel flag.

Time for American Hammers x 15 IC

COT

Prayers for Erin (Ashy Larry’s sister)
Prayers for JK2’s father
Prayers for PAX who haven’t posted lately

It’s flipping Thursday!

Q.I.C.Wally
The PAXWax On, House, ITunes, Courtesy Flush, The Muff, Perry Mason, Almond Joy, Kindergarten Cop, No Bars, Training Wheels, Baby Groot
Workout Date04/12/2018
A.O. The Station

Wednesday evening a call for a Q was made and so YHC decided to answer.

As I drove to The Station this morning I was still undecided on what we were going to do.

Before I knew it, it was time to circle up for warm-up.  No surprises here.

15 SSH

15 Imperial Walkers

Double applesauce for an Indian Run down the block.  After a quick stop for 20 Big Boys (said in our best Blue voice) we moseyed to the church.

Everyone grab a block!  Except me, I grab a tire.  Here’s the deal.  I call an exercise for the other 11 PAX to do while I flip the tire halfway down the parking lot.  I then turn around and flip it back to the start (slightly uphill which isn’t as fun as you would think).  Cue the mumblechatter.  Each PAX gets a chance to call the exercises and flip the tire.

After everyone got their turn we still had a bit of time for a quick block Dora.  100 overhead presses, 200 squats, and 300 chest presses.

Put it all away and mosey back to the Big Boy parking lot for 20 more of those.  Then mosey down to the next intersection for 20 merkins.

Just enough time for some LBC’s, Corkscrews, Back Scratchers and Heels to Heaven.

COT

Prayers for the Vet struggling with alcohol and PTSD.

Prayers for Wax On’s M and her kidney stones.

Reminder for the air gun memorial shoot at Grace Methodist on the 28th.

If I forgot anything, I apologize

As always it was my honor to lead you men and I look forward to seeing you guys in the gloom.

 

 

 

Jacobs Ladder + Cora Dora

Q.I.C.Double Windsor
The PAXCrash, Earthmover, Hootie, Hot n Ready, Junk Bond, Libor, Rainbow Dash, Three Buck Chuck, Squints, Double Windsor
Workout Date04/12/2018
A.O. Main Thang

Warmup

30 x SSH in cadence
15 x Imperial Walker in cadence
10 x Merkins  in cadence
20 x Dips in cadence
10 x Derkins  in cadence

The Thang

Mosey to the mini park under the Church Street Bridge, down the trail to the large-ish grassy hill near the bottom.

Standard Jacobs Ladder but with a minor modification:

  • Bear crawl up
  • Do burpee 1 (up to 7)
  • Bear crawl down

This turned out to be more effort than I thought.  I guess it depends on what part of the hill you used.

Mosey to the retaining wall near the parking garage.

10 x Man ups
Balls to the wall until the Q gets tired
10 x Man ups.  (arms near failure after the bear crawls and balls to the wall)

Mosey to the parking lot nearby for Cora – Dora.  A standard Dora 1-2-3 but with all core exercises, since we’ve already got the arms covered.

100 x LBC
200 x Heels to Heaven
300 x Flutters (single count turned out to be a good choice after the heels to heaven)

Mosey back toward peace center, on the way stop for 20 squats, since we have neglected our legs today.

At peace center 30 more squats in cadence, slowing down at the end to maximize the burn.

COT

  • Prayers for Squint’s friends who lost a child.
  • Main Thang Tee Shirts are being made, contact Crash with your size.
  • We are going to start a Fellowship of the Thang, FOT for short. Every Thursday from 4-6 pm at Mac’s Speed Shop, drop in for a beer, conversation , laughter, etc. etc. etc.  It is across from baseball stadium…