The Jackalope v1.0 BB – CSAUP

A tradition that has been in planning phases for two years finally came to fruition on Saturday, May 16, 2015.  The first annual (semi-annual?) #Jackalope.  T-Claps to all the Q’s, cameramen, sagwagons, #2ndF’ers, bikers, wastoids, dweebies, etc.

The #Jackalope is basically a replica of a CSAUP that other regions have done, that began in Charlotte in 2012 with the GOAT, a 12 mile route through various AO’s in the region.  Swamp Rabbit is a little spread out, so we settled for 7.5 miles from #MainThang, through #LionsDen and #TankYard and finishing at #Legacy, with a couple of stops in between.

The Conditions: Perfect.  Gloomy and humid, and rapidly warming up…

The Thang: We met at 0600 and formed concentric circles…Disclaimer, countarama, ground rules, logistics, quick BOM from Padre, and lets get this party started.

#MainThang: Three groups, led by Sponge Bob, One Direction and Iceman (sound off in the comments below on what you Q’d).  Sponge’s group started with SSH and it gets kinda hazy after that….10 burpees every minute for 4 minutes or something insane like that…

Okay- here we go, south on Main Street across the bridge, left into Falls Park, OH there’s the third group, just shooting the breeze and waiting for us.  Houdini and YHC fearlessly lead the pax down the SR trail to the Vietnam Memorial (thanks Padre).  Double-back to the 6, which is easily identifiable because he’s being trailed by Domer and Strange Brew’s 2.0 on bikes.  Head back to the Memorial.  Get yelled at by Flay for running too fast.

#LionsDen: Three groups, led by Hook and Ladder, somebody and somebody else (sound off in the comments below on what you Q’d).  Hook and Ladder’s group did a raccoon crawl down the wall, said hey to a Paul Blart on his way to the zoo, did a bunch of monkey humpers, and proceeded down the trail.

Next section of the trail was uneventful.  There was absolutely no nudity.

#FirstBaptist: Three groups, led by San Diago, Houdini, and YHC.  My group did abt 8 minutes of Jack the Ripper (merkins to LBC’s in a 1:4 ratio).  We went up to 10, then did a few varieties (diamond merkins, werkins).  Finished with 10 partner derkins and 5 dumbocrats.

Back to the trail.  Steep hill.  First street crossing goes off without a hitch.  This is starting to feel a lot longer than the 3 miles we’ve gone on the map….

#BowlingAlley: Three groups, led by GCOD, Footloose aka Clipboard and somebody else, (sound off in the comments below on what you Q’d).

Thankfully Squeal was there with some water.  YHC was starting to feel gassed, and Sushi was starting to sober up.  Also there was a tomato running around asking for a “Bo Zimmerman”.  Anyone know who that is and if she ever found him?  The Bowling Alley was the most depressing place we stopped…until Floppy’s Funhouse, but we’ll get to that…

The plot thickens…we crossed over Pleasantburg..some legally…some not.  Good thing we said that disclaimer.  Up to this point the buddy system and countarama had been working well.  Okay we start through the Gower neighborhood, being led by some #TankYardigans.  Again, there was no nudity that I’m aware of, this is a neighborhood after all.  So from the time we were just below the Bowling Alley all the way to the #TankYard is basically entirely uphill.  Now Flay is really yelling at people.  Everyone stops at some corner for an extended plankorama / standorama.  A flying EH was attempted: “Maybe next Saturday” was maybe the answer, or maybe I made that up.  A plane flew overhead, the #PowderKeggers, having never before seen a flying machine, immediately dropped and did 10 burpees.  #weird.

Continue our odyssey through Gower, which was enhanced by Montross leading the pax past his house, which gracefully had a baby pool filled with ice and bottled water, and an M and 2.0’s to give high fives.

We finally get down to “the Holler” as the #TankYardigans refer to it.  Rocky Top teaches us Bring Sally Up for a while, we mosey to the Tank.  For those readers who weren’t there, the #TankYard meets at a literal tank.  It’s awesome.  There was planking involved.  Brown Shorts Q’ed and gave us a peptalk.  Clipboard/Footloose climbed to the top of the Tank.

Flay yells at everybody, GET MOVING.

So we did.  The crowd heads down to Laurens Road.  Oh look, there’s a crosswalk.  But let’s just cross here instead.  Hey, we have to cross Woodruff Road.  There’s another crosswalk, but let’s run down a quarter mile and stop traffic instead.  No one was injured.

Next stop, two dozen shovel flags are planted, two fall.  Burpees ensue.  Oops, this isn’t the stop.  Mosey another quarter mile up the hill.

#RockySlopeLot: Three groups, led by Floppy, Alfred, and somebody else (sound off in comments below) did some stuff.  Floppy’s group did something terrible.  Alfred’s group did Jack Webb, then Flutters, then some other stuff.  Everybody groaned and grumbled and griped.  Rocky Top made fun of the Tennessee Volunteers and the Atlanta Hawks.

Finally, on our way to our final stop.  Hit Legacy Park, double back for the six: Castaway.  Castaway had cramped up pretty bad, having just Q’d #Dogpound yesterday, but he kept moving on his own volition.  We all get to the spot, the Q’s weren’t ready.  Scuba Steve made us all do horrendous things that we didn’t want to do.  Finally the curtain was removed, the wizard was exposed, and there was a giant slip and slide and coolers full of beer.  Oh wait…we still have to work out…

Break into three groups: Tunnel of Love / South Kakalaki Choo Choo Race.  My team wins!  Or the other team!  Who knows/cares?  Delirium had by this point overwhelmed most of us.

Slip and Slide!  (Again, no nudity whatsoever…but lots of dadbods).

Count-a-rama, name-o-rama, 3 FNG’s.  YHC tried to get my thoughts across to thank pax, but I was farklempt/delirious.  Beautiful BOM by Padre.

#2ndF.  But let’s be honest, this whole thing was #2ndF the whole time anyway.

Ye Olde Moleskine:

Nothing YHC could type could really do justice to this experience.  It was a convergence mixed with a long slow jog mixed with 4 hours of #2ndF.  New friends were made, old loves were rekindled, FNG’s were named:

-Cauliflower fka Kip Humphries (former wrestler)

-Wang fka George (designed the Jackalope logo…Wang is short for Vera Wang.  Honestly YHC had been calling him Greek Fest all day in hopes that would stick, but alas, the people spoke).

-Fake ID fka Ian Vanderveen (Strange Brew’s 2.0 – 13 Years Old.  Great kid. YHC had a chance to chat a bit with Strange Brew and Fake ID along the way.  Top shelf family all the way.

Super-special T-Claps to the Strange Brew family.  Strange Brew and Fake ID ran, Strange Brew’s daughter helped out on a bike, and M Strange Brew (registered nurse) drove a sagwagon.  Thanks for the dedication.

T-Claps also go to Padre, Squeal, all site Q’s, Flay, Iceman, Sponge Bob, Houdini, GCOD, One Direction, Sushi, Mab Mab, Mary, Latka, Alfred, and all the other pax that just routinely give their all for F3 Greenville.

T-Claps and Welcome to the Spartanburg pax (Penguin, Louganis, some others), Anderson pax, and to the guy who came from Sumter.  Loved having yall, hope to come see yall in your territory at some point.

T-Claps to Dredd and OBT for founding this #Thang and to Gnarly Goat and Uncle for all the tips on a #CSAUP.

Please give your own T-Claps and highlights from The #Jackalope in the comments.  This was by the pax and for the pax and the pax at large should help with this backblast.  1D/Alfred/TBC have been instructed to post video/picture links in the comments.  If anyone else has them, please share.

YHC is working on getting the pax list from Footloose.  Will edit when I have it.

Announcements: Leadership Forum – 6/20 – 6 PM at BARLEY’S UPSTAIRS.  Eat before you come, no food allowed upstairs.