Stanky Cheddar vs. the BRR

  • Workout Date - 09/11/2015
  • Q In Charge - Houdini
  • The PAX - Inspector Gadget, Zorro, FNG Don’t Taze Me Bro, Double Aught, Sushi, Highlights, Houdini, Dirty Myrtle, Bartman, Magic Mike, 1D
  • AO -

MVP for (F3) Stanky Cheddar goes to Inspector Gadget and Zorro, the drivers.  Without brothers like them to volunteer and sacrifice two evenings, with little to no sleep, the #BRR experience would prove to be even more difficult.  Taints to the two of them and the 12-man team drivers for getting our Swamp Rabbits up and down the mountaints, safely and on time to the exchange chodes – that selfless mindset is what makes the F3 machine cook.

It is hard to communicate how neat the Blue Ridge Relay experience is, it’s one of those events that I taint about but fail to do it justice.  Nothing beats being on a team with guys that are lubed up and wearing nipple tape, hot-boxing an over-priced (unless negotiated by GCOD) high top passenger van.

Sometimes you’re alone, in the middle of the night talking to God and getting closer to Him.  Sometimes you’re alone, in the middle of the night and hear some weird ass noise, asking Jesus WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT??

Sometimes you’re on deck in the Portable Crapper line and GCOD steps out, grinning ear to ear after giving birth to a Gremlin.  Only once have I ever seen a meatloaf that hideous, it had been left in the fridge for seven months and also had an unrecognizable specimen attached.

Sometimes your wife and kids pack a nice note in your equipment back, and you don’t see it because you’re too busy jamming nuts in your kisser (you know, like in trail-mix).

Sometimes you’re sore and get passed by some tiny chick flying up the mountaint and she’s probably feeling sorry for you.

Sometimes your nacho catches fire and your next shower is incredibly painful.

Sometimes you wear pink cankle sleeves, so you blend in with the Asheville hippies as you pull into town for the finish.

Sometimes guys have cancel due to work or family obligations, but EVERY time there will be another F3 brother to step up and take his place.

Sometimes you have a leg where you don’t feel so great, but EVERY time the PAX is waiting on you to pick you up.

Sometimes you head into a CSAUP event not knowing what to expect, but EVERY time you come out with more appreciation for the tough guys that stand beside you and hammer out the challenge.


Runner 1 – FNG Don’t Taze Me Bro (Steven Blackerby) from St. Simons, GA.  Taze was a great sport, putting a triangular block of cheddar on his dome to kick us off at the start line.  Noonan connected us with him as we had to replace someone very last minute – awesome job.

Runner 2 – Double Aught was the workhorse.  Most mileage and blasted through it no problem, he and Longbottom now share a life-long bond that I don’t care to be included in – awesome job.

Runner 3 – Sushi was the WD and proven sandbagger, age is only a number.  In spirit he’s got the energy of a 28 year old and runs like a freshman in college – awesome job.

Runner 4 – Highlights was our gazelle, getting his business done quickly.  Did the 12-man thing last year and welcomed a different BRR experience – awesome job.

Runner 5 – Houdini had a terrible case of juicy-deuce, caught a little bug the first morning but was able to shake it later in the day.

Runner 6 – Dirty Myrtle bobbed and weaved on some tough tracks, but always found another gear and moved that needed forward – awesome job.

Runner 7 – Bartman was very excited to have low miles this time around.  His positive attitude is contagious and he elevates the people around him – awesome job.

Runner 8 – Magic Mike doesn’t have the hills to train on over on the coast but that didn’t keep him from pulling his weight and doing business.  He looks great in flamboyant tights and is a true ladies man spitting sweet game to ladies while running up the mountaint.

Runner 9 – Relay Vet 1D is like Cal Ripkin, minus that one time he was in ballet class and bruised his shoulder, keeping him out of action for 6 months or so.  We let this stud bring us home, and he waxed all of his assignments.

Shake a leg,

3 thoughts on “Stanky Cheddar vs. the BRR”

  1. Once again, masterfully written by our Captain. Could not have said it any better. It was an honor to run with you guys. It was especially fun watching Dini cramp those nuts in his kisser!!

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