• Workout Date - 02/25/2017
  • Q In Charge - Road Trip
  • The PAX - Cocoon, Church Lady, Deflated, Mint Julip, My Little Brony, Short Barrel, Easy Bake, RoadTrip (aka Cole Trickle). All other absent PAX were Black Flagged
  • AO -

CONDITIONS: Beautiful sun rising 61 degrees. Great day for racin’

MISSION & DISCLAIMER: Plagiarized it word for word. Drive at your own risk.

#35 Alan Kulwiki SSH – IC
#28 Cale Yarborough Windmills – IC
#24 Jeff Gordon Hillbillies – IC
#17 Darrell Waltrip Burpees – OYO

8 Waffle Bellies traded paint and earned their rookie stripe in a flag to flag coverage of the Super Bowl of F3 races…The Pitchfork 500. Waffle Bellies are those “over-served” fans who press their bare bikini-topped beer-bellies against the chain link catch fence in an attempt to get a smidge closer to their favorite driver. You want syrup with your waffles or just butter? Enough of the images in your head, time to Easy Bake…errr…I mean Shake n’ Bake.

Mosey to the track for Qualifying. That’s #1 Jamie McMurray lap around the track.. If you’re not first, you’re last and if you’re last you got #6 Mark Martin Burpees. Easy Bake is safe and Short Barrel went ahead and did his burpees first.

If you follow NASCAR, you know qualifying for Daytona is determined with two sprint races. You know what that means. Get back in your car for another #1 Steve Park qualifying lap. Drive like you got a cheetah in your back seat because second place is the first loser. All losers have #10 Danica Patrick Burpees. PAX on the IR are allowed to perform lunges as track spotters.

Now that Ricky Bobby is jacked up on Mountain Dew and ‘bout to go Spider Monkey on somebody, Its time to ice those veins. Wave to the crowd as you mosey to the Speedway for the Great American Race.

Partner Up and grab a jack stand. If you can’t find a jack stand, a grab a block (red-neck jack stand). 1 per duo. PAX 1 does exercise while PAX 2 sprints around the speedway. Flip flop until all reps complete. No combo reps, each PAX responsible for their own reps.

Exercise 1 – 100 Merkins
Exercise 2 – 100 Jack Stand Squats
Mandatory Pit Stop – #40 Sterling Marlin Mt Climbers (dbl ct)
Exercise 3 – 100 OH Jack Stand Presses
Exercise 4 – 100 Jack Stand Curls
Caution Lap – #43 Richard Petty Flutters (dbl ct) Wave those legs like a yellow flag. Wait, wha…what? Nevermind.
Exercise 5 – 100 BBSU – modify to Busch League LBCs after 50 BBs.

Load jack stands on the hauler and mosey to to the Flags for a GREEN – WHITE – CHECKER photo finish. No MARY. No one has seen her since that last keg stand in the infield near turn 2. Somebody call Ponch to issue an APB.

GREEN – #9 Bill Elliott burpees per minute for #3 Dale Earnhardt minutes.
WHITE – Howling Monkeys –Ring of Fire style- Each PAX does #11 Denny Hamlin MH while others hold MH position. Repeat.
CHECKER – #2 min Brad Keselowski Plank

8 PAX started, 8 PAX finished. No DNFs today, but many engines were smoked. No autographs or press conferences.

That Sucked
APR 22 – Reedy River 5k/10k
Deflated in for the 5k (sorry Deflated, you’re committed now)
MAY 20 – Mud Run (Columbia) – 1 team registered. Other teams are forming. Use the Weirdos private chat on Twitter to find others. But don’t recruit Easy Bake, he does not like mud.

Cocoon’s son with strep
Boss Hogg’s son’s surgery to remove brain tumor
ACA’s job loss
Brony’s son who continues to defy the odds

Short Barrel took us out in prayer. As you leave, take a victory lap around the parking lot in your car for a job well done. And do yourself a favor, watch Talledaga Nights. It’s a good laugh and this BB will make a whole lot more sense.

It was a pleasure to lead. Until next time, SYITG and rubbin is racin.

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