Not an Ironman

So, the month of April was not kind to my fitness level. Between a spring break with the family (food, food, beer, and more food) and a doctor enforced two week layoff, things backslid significantly. I have had to miss out on my beloved Mudrun and couldn’t pay homage to my favorite inanimate twitter object, the F3 Beer Boat (“You had me at hello…” sniffle). All in all, I’ve gotten lazy, both in posting and in what I’m eating and drinking. Far from an Ironman or even a Hardman, YHC is doing his best impression of a Sadclown Pilsbury Dough Boy. No better way to get accountable than to sign up to Q, and no better day to do it on Cinco de Mayo, which so happens to be YHC’s wedding anniversary (not my F3 anniversary, Slim, but we’ll still take the 24 burpees you owe us), and the day before we turn the big 3-7.

Time to get to work. 12 TankYardigans emerged in the gloom (including long lost Beavis and Rocky Top along with a guest appearance from Inspector Gadget) and tried to pick their way through the dark to start off Cinco de Drinko the right way.

Warm UP

B.L.I.M.P.

Burpees x 5

Lunges x 10

IW x 15

Merkins x 20

Plankjack x 25

Mosey to the baseball field

Four Corners/Pole-to-pole variation THANG

Start at home plate. Sprint to right field pole/9 reps. Sprint to center field/9 reps. Sprint to left field pole/9 reps. Sprint back home/10 reps (oddly enough that adds up to 37. #whoknew).

Round 1: Burpees

Round 2: Perfect (and we mean PERFECT) Squats

Round 3: Big boy sit ups

Round 4: Diamond Merkins

Lots of huffing and puffing after round one, but it was interesting to see how different PAX ended up near the front depending on the PT we were doing. Scuba and Montross, of course, were always up there, but everybody had their turn at or near the front. Nice job, boys. Next goal is to have everybody pushing Montross/Scuba and making them run for their lives.

Mosey down to the tennis courts. At which point we tried a little something different. Not much time to do everything we wanted to do, so let’s mash up a couple of Flayvorites: the Star Drill and the Ark Loader

Stark Loader

Not an Ironman reference, Ice, but thanks for pointing it out. Considering the level groaning that ensued, this might be an invention worthy of Stark Industries. The way this works is everybody pairs off. Partner 1 does the Star Drill while Partner 2 does core work. Flapjack once Partner 1 finishes the drill. The difference this time is that you’re not running the drill. Instead:

Round 1: Bearcrawls

Round 2: Jameis Winston

#crowdpleaser

4MOM

Flutters x 38 (one to grow on)

Backscratchers x 38 (one to grow on)

SPICOLIS X 10

Moleskine

• We’ve got ourselves a keeper with the Stark Loader. Of particular note is that the backwards bearcrawls and sideways Jameis were particularly awful (#shouldersmoker). We also had our resident #SugarRay, Montross, literally dragging is hindquarters along the tennis courts during the Jameis round. Might have to rename him Body Glide after that kind of chafing. Much moaning groaning and foreshadowing of #merlotspillage, but alas, the courts remained dry outside of the sweat stains.
• Wonderful to see Beavis back out in the Gloom after a tough time for his family. Don’t be a stranger, brother.
• Thanks to Inspector Gadget for making a cameo and to our hardcourt star (Rocky Top) for gracing us with his presence
• #Tclaps to Montross and Wah Wah for posting with newborns in their respective houses
• JACKALOPE JACKALOPE JACKALOPE
• Leadership forum forhcoming on 5/20. Details TBD. Preblast here.

As always, it’s my honor to be amongst you all. Thanks for letting me take the helm. Aye.