Newsflash – Station Pax Unable To Follow Simple Instructions

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  • Workout Date - 12/13/2018
  • Q In Charge - Waxon
  • The PAX - No Bar, Courtesy Flush, The Muff, Almond Joy, Chubbs, PlayDoh
  • AO - The Station

7 Pax rolled out of bed this frosty morning, undaunted by the early hour and the chill, determined to start their day as better men.     Mission debatably accomplished.

The morning started out oddly enough as AJ threw everyone off and defied expectations by arriving prior to warmup.      YHC should have known that this was a harbinger of the weirdness to come.      Time was approaching 5:30,  and with AJ accounted for, YHC rolled the group out, knowing that his weinke was enormous and that time was critical.    Dispensing of the workout in the traditional sense, we began moseying up 101, in the general direction of Tank Street.     No sooner had we gotten underway, than someone spotted The Muff coming in hot and on two wheels.   Being true to F3 creed, and determined not to leave any man behind, the pax doubles back to pick up our straggler (not AJ) and we’re back underway.    Just then, Courtesy Flush was spotted pulling in hotter and later, but this time,  not doubling back again, we stop where we were and YHC called 25 SSH in cadence to warm up and allow CF a chance to catch up (note to self – maybe the warmups are as much about allowing tardy pax grace minutes more so than for any actual warmup).

Finally pretty sure that we had everyone, we mosey to Tank Street, stopping for 20 Imperial Walkers on 18th street and 10 windmills on 20th street.   Warmup successfully and fully executed, we then mosey to our destination – the hill at Tank Street.     The bulk of today’s work will consist of 11’s up Tank Street, with hand release Merkins at the bottom, BBSU at the top, BUT – with a wrinkle.    After every 3rd assault up Tank, the Pax hold at the bottom and YHC calls out a core exercise for the group.    YHC thoughtfully  added the core work break to keep the 11s doable without everyone gassing out, and unable to give a balls-out effort, thereby achieving max benefit.    At this point, YHC would like to be able to note that his wisdom, forethought and yes – benevolence was roundly acknowledged and appreciated, but these lunkheads failed to grasp the shrewdness of the  planning, so I can’t.

11s destroyed, we mosey across the street to the Veterans Park for a little bear crawl action – and this is where it got weird.     YHC had all Pax line up at the far end of the Veteran wall, and CLEARLY explained that the 1st man at the end would bear crawl ALL THE WAY DOWN THE LENGTH OF THE MEMORIAL WALL.     Once the 1st man begins his bear crawl, the pax will INDEX DOWN, making sure that the next man will bear crawl the same distance down THE LENGTH OF THE MEMORIAL WALL.     No one seems confused at this point, and all do a decent job of moving down to the beginning of the wall as explained.   YHC is satisfied that the pax are getting it.    Finally it’s YHCs turn, where I drop down in position, head down looking at the sidewalk and crawl the length of the wall.    YHC gets to the end, stands up, and realizes that he’s alone…..all alone.    YHC is thoroughly confused, and looks around and sees absolutely no one.   By this time, YHC is  wondering if perhaps the PAX has pranked him by running off while he was otherwise engaged.   One point that should be mentioned at this time, is that this is a curved wall, broken up by a gate.   Anyway, walking back to where we started, and rounding the curve of the wall, YHC sees the Pax just standing by the gate.    Evidently, PAX 1 thought that the END OF THE WALL meant the gate, and stopped bear crawling when he hit the gate (about 4 ft from where we started).   Pax 2 followed suit, and ALL silently watched YHC bear crawl right by them to the END OF THE WALL without saying one word to him (YHC seriously had his head down, going like a mofo and failed to see the feet of the Pax as he passed them).      Given how the nimrods blew this so splendidly, YHC lined them up again, and made them do it again – this time,  the right way.

Time getting short, we mosey back the way that we came.    Recognizing that a train had come through earlier, it was time to pay the 10 burpee penalty, but in the spirit of Christmas bills, we paid on the installment plan with 5 burpees on 20th, 5 on 18th and a 5 burpee interest fee on 16th and 20 squats at 101 and Poinsett.

Mosey to the park entrance for 20 dips and 20 box jumps, and then on to the fountain for 5 MOM, dealers choice style (I remember erectors, leg-ups, BBSU, back scratchers and one legged erectors).

Moleskin:    Prayers up for those dealing with sickness and loss this holiday season and the coworker of a Pax going through a contentious divorce.

AJ only had to stop to tie his shoes twice, and all Pax in attendance wish that someone would get him velcro workout shoes for Christmas.

As always gentlemen, I hope that the workout was up to level of your physical abilities, because it sure was well beyond the level of your mental abilities!

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