If Whisper Ran a Mile, Would Anyone Hear it?

  • Workout Date - 07/07/2015
  • Q In Charge - Affordable Care Act
  • The PAX - Simpson, The Frizz, Church Lady, Nature Boy, 3rd Base, Sticky, Bambi, The Situation, Cool Breeze, ATM, Gymboree, Thumper, Hulk Smash, Medulla Oblongata, 50/50, 1D, Soccer Mom, FNG (Yellow Jacket), Elmer, Whisper, Sammy, Barney, Tanneyhill, Hooch, Two Left Gloves, Affordable Care Act (YHC)
  • AO -

The Pitchfork family is two things: very supportive and more fertile than the Duggars.  Bambi made a pitch last week for everyone to make a goal for themselves.  He later found out that our brother, Whisper, has a goal of running a mile without stopping.  Within a week, the Whisper Mile is introduced.

As I browsed the M’s closet last night to find the most impactful top to achieve my best timed mile, she presented me with a pink-striped tank top complete with bedazzles.  Okay, maybe a little less impact.  We settled on a plain white and uncomfortably tight beater….. mile beater, that is.  It’s time to help a brother achieve his goal of running a mile without stopping!

26 PAX slept with one eye open last night just to let our collective alarm clocks know we’re in charge today and we are avoiding the sack like…


Others were not so fortunate and avoided the sack like an over-served LSU fan in the French Quarter.  For those of you who get that reference, I apologize.

Warm Up

Imperial… Nope.  Never again.  It’s Hillbilies at the Fork X 25 IC
Enough of that, let’s mosey.

The Thang

Mosey over to the track for the first installment of the Whisper Mile!  Five laps equal one mile (1st Note:  after we finished and everyone was feeling great about their time, Third Base decided to smash everyone’s inflated ego and tell us it was really .83 miles.  Thanks, Third Base!  2nd Note:  I further destroyed Whisper’s confidence when I let him know that the time he thought he recorded only included his last four laps.  There’s not enough room on my Weinke for all of this!  My apologies, Whisper).  Our first lap was run with Whisper to the tune of “Eye of the Tiger” (thanks Amazon Prime). The PAX would set their own pace on Whisper’s second lap (everyone else’s first).

Once finished, the PAX took a half lap to gather their thoughts before enduring the 20/20 Crawl.  I made that up.  I’m Affordable Care Act.  The Supreme Court says I’m above the law.  Deal with it.  First 20 is what I called chamerkins (I was proud of my “chameleon merkins” name until 1D rained on my parade and said it was called “Dragon Walk“.  Refer to the last three sentences!).  The second 20 was a lunge walk combined with a trunk twist.

The payoff was looking back at the last group of around 15 all doing the lunge walk with trunk twists in unison.  It looked like a Pat Benatar video.  Don’t believe me?  Please skip to the 3:20 mark.  That is unless you’re just a big Pat Benatar fan.  If so, feel free to enjoy the whole thing and no you can’t borrow my tank top.

Station Time!

Station 1: Swerkins
Station 2: Pull-ups
Station 3: Dips
Station 4: Knee Ups on a picnic table (x 20 each leg)

2 MOM:

American Hammers x 20 IC
Flutter x 18 IC


There were mostly praises today.  We thank our Father for His healing and perfect timing.

Announcement:  Flay will have the Q Saturday for his 2nd Anniversary.  I wouldn’t miss it.


There’s something special about this AO (Oprah Bomb).  The camaraderie here is viral as evidence by the growing numbers.  Whisper didn’t achieve his goal in one day.  We will continue the Whisper Mile every Tuesday morning until it’s done, though.  I’m looking forward to not only the achievement of this man’s goal, but many other brothers in the future.  We’re meant to tackle life together, boys.  Don’t be selfish and keep your goals to yourself.

Also, upon exiting my car this morning, I was greeted by a familiar face from almost 20 years ago.  An old college buddy and ex-teammate of mine was visiting from the Bluffton AO.  It was great to see Simpson and he brought the lone FNG this morning.  We welcome Yellow Jacket into the fold.  Yes, he is a die hard Georgia fan.  I suggested Brandon Bennett, but I guess nobody remembers that far back, or cares about Gamecock football.

Great work today, men!  See you in the gloom soon.


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