How I Met Your Mother

  • Workout Date - 05/22/2017
  • Q In Charge - FDIC
  • The PAX - Bogo, 12th Man, Partner, Fargo, Clarinet, Abacus, Pebbles, Skid Marks, Water Boy, Slug, Whittle, Karaoke, Al Borland, Mr. Belding, Flow Rider, FDIC
  • AO -

15 other PAX joined me, wondering what was in store for the morning. On my previous Q’s I’ve run it by BOGO to get his opinion, but today he was in the dark with everyone else. He’d soon find out why.

Warm-up, time for the music to begin

5 exercises, 13 reps each- SSH, Windmills, Sun gods, Box cutters, Big boys OYO (May is my anniversary month, we are celebrating 13 years, thus the 5 and 13)

The Thang

  • After the warm up I explained to the men that it’s my anniversary, so today I’m going to explain how I met my wife. First station, I explained that when I met Erica, it was at a pool hall. She was wearing a light blue top and some tight white pants, and man did she have a nice butt. Her nickname in high school was bubbles, enough said. So station one, each man has to complete 100 squats so we can work on having a bubble butt as well. The music we enjoyed here was Fat Bottom Girls by Queen and Baby Got Back by Sir Mix-A-Lot. Thru the pain of 100 squats there were some laughs.
  • Now it’s time to mosey. We ran as a group, carrying the speaker with us to enjoy the tunes I had selected. We ran 1.5 laps over to the old block corner. I explained to the guys that the reason we ran was Erica and I broke up for about a year, and during that time I went on a journey to the other side of the world; a six month deployment with the Navy. (side note, we were at sea WITHOUT hitting a port for 159 consecutive days, a naval record I doubt will ever be broken). At this station I told the guys that after the journey Erica and I dated again. We consider our first date to be May 4th, when we went and saw Spider-Man. So, time to do Peter Parker merkins, 50 each side, OYO. As the men completed their reps, I had them get one of the lighter coupons currently stationed here. Once everyone had a block, I told them that after a little over a year I proposed. What does a proposal look like? You gotta drop to one knee and present the “rock” to the girl. So 25 lunges each side, lifting the coupon for each repetition. Time to mosey again!!
  • Now we had to mosey over under the home bleachers. At this point, I told the guys I was pulling a Mr. Belding and abusing my power as the Q, hand selecting BOGO as my partner, and told everyone else to partner up. Now it was time to do some humping of the air, 50 OYO. Upon completion, one man from each team had to grab a coupon and we assembled at “Quaker’s Corner”. When the partner with the block arrives, I start to clap and congratulate them. They are now pregnant!!!! After about 9 months, it’s time to head to the hospital, which is over near the visitor bleachers. After two false starts (my wife thought she was in labor twice, so we wasted two trips to the hospital), it was time to mosey. As we moseyed, some of the mothers tried to carry the block on their shoulders. I had to remind them in real life the child is carried in the belly, so they had to carry their coupon in the correct location. We arrive at the hospital.
  • At the hospital, the mother has to complete 50 LBC’s to help get that baby out!!! Meanwhile, the dads have to grab a water jug that we had carried over during our journey with the Navy and head to the top of the bleachers. Here, they get to have their Mufasa moment where they present their child to the world. In real life, us men can’t participate in child birth, but today we could. So, mothers had to come to top of bleachers, grab the child to present to the world while the dads ran down to do 50 LBC’s. Once everyone was done, we left the coupons and carried the jugs with us, time to mosey on to the next station.
  • Back around to Quaker’s Corner we go. Here, I told the men that my wife and I went on a cruise for our 7th anniversary, and on the cruise we went swimming with the stingrays. So on our bellies, feet off the ground, and complete 50 breaststrokes OYO. Time to pick up the baby/water jug and do another mosey, back over to the old block storage corner.
  • At this station, I tell everyone it’s time to do some more air humpers, 50 OYO. At this point the ladies that come to the track are walking/jogging by, and some warnings go out to them not to look in our direction, lol. Once complete, I congratulate them again, the couples are having another baby!! There’s some groaning and asking if the other partner can carry the coupon this time. I inform them no, once someone was the designated mother it’s gonna stay that way. But this time they don’t have to go far (we’re running short on time here. I had planned for us to mosey a full lap back to the “hospital”, but I shorten that to heading to the track at the base of the visitor bleachers.) The fathers go to the top of the bleachers and show their child to the world, and this time the mothers complete 50 box cutters. We trade places, rinse and repeat, everyone thinks it’s time to move on. Water Boy even comments that at least we get to leave the coupons this time. “Not so fast!” I inform him. Guess what, we have THREE children! Let’s get to making love to the air again, for sake of time, cut to 25 OYO. I throw out that if anyone is feeling frisky, they can take the liberty to throw in a few slaps of the air. Pebbles goes to the extreme, slapping his thigh in rhythm as he makes moans and heavy breathing between laughs. All of us around him get a good chuckle. Once we’re all done, I say time to mosey to next station, back over to Quaker’s Corner. Before I can finish what I’m saying, some of the “mothers” take off the long way. I yell out we’re going backwards around the track, the short way, much to their dismay. Not my fault they jumped the gun. So we mosey……
  • Arrive at Quaker’s Corner, time for the mothers to deliver the third child!!! 25 gas pumps for sake of time while the dads head to the top of the bleachers to show off their child. Swap out, rinse and repeat. Everyone is done, time to head to the flag! Clarinet hates his baby by this point and chucks her from the top of the bleachers. SPLAT!!!!! Not sure who, but someone hollers out “Her water broke!” Lots of laughs as we mosey to the flag for COT.

Playlist

  • Waiting For A Girl Like You by Foreigner
  • Fat Bottomed Girls by Queen
  • Baby Got Back by Sir Mix-A-Lot
  • Can’t You See by The Marshall Tucker Band
  • Feels Like the First time by Foreigner
  • More Than a Feeling by Boston
  • Free Fallin’ by Tom Petty
  • Ain’t No Mountain High Enough by Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell
  • All of Me by John Legend
  • Little Moments by Brad Paisley (the song we danced to at our wedding)
  • My Girl by The Temptations

 

COT

At first I joked about sharing some words from Song of Solomon, climbing the tree to get the fruit, etc. Al Borland also reminded us it mentions that the husband likes to graze……I make sure to remind everyone (Pebbles is among us and he’s 16) that we are merely sharing what’s written in the Bible!! Then I shared some words from Ephesians 5 about marriage roles. I emphasized how the majority of the passage talked more about the role husbands have to love the wife the way Christ loves the church. For those of us who are married, no matter how long, we need to remember how to love our wives. After 13 years, I can forget that. I try to be a good dad, putting my kids to bed every night. I try to be a good husband/provider, going to work every day. But I need to not take my wife for granted. And for any not married, Ephesians is a great place to start to see how to model a marriage.

Announcements/Prayer Requests

  • “Murph” on Memorial Day. Start promptly at 515, end at 600, meet Powderpuff PAX at CFA after.
  • Fargo–thankful his daughter in Georgia seems to be in good spirits, and that his son and son’s new wife are doing well.
  • Flow Rider–mom had surgery Tuesday.
  • Slug-sister’s son, freshman in college, has cut off all communications with family. Slug trying to meet up with him for lunch if he will answer/return his calls.
  • Prayers for Scott Parrish (Steel Magnolia) is having issues with both knees, specialist visit isn’t for two months.
  • Water Boy–dad has a mass, back issues, several medical things going on. I believe we got an update on 5/26/17 that Fender Bender will be able to mention in his back blast.

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