Houdini: Advice Columnist

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  • Workout Date - 01/28/2016
  • Q In Charge - Flay
  • The PAX - Earthmover, Soul Plane, Urkel, Mr. Winslow, Stewie, Handy Manny, Houdini, Clapper, Spongebob, PETA, Flay (QIC)
  • AO -

As a self-professed Country Boy and loyal #Tankyardigan, it’s always good to head downtown and see what my citified brothers have going on. After Latka guest-Q’d at the Tank on Tuesday, I figured it was time to head back to civilization and repay the favor.Theme song for the urbanites Livin JUUUUST enough for the Cit-ay today:

…or at least it was until Houdini hijacked the proceedings and sent the #mumblechatter into the gutter. More on that in a bit. 11 made it out in some dang near perfect conditions (high 30s/low 40s is my wheelhouse) for an Old School session.

Warm Up

10 x 5 (10 Burpees/minute for five minutes) #crowdpleaser

Sorry, Houdini. No #SideCankleJibby today. Houdini immediately voices his displeasure and mumbles a joke that will forever remain at the MT. Long story short, the punch line was “skin on skin”, and we almost had our first #mumblechatter induced splashing of #merlot. The PAX immediately went into Radio Silence for the next 15+ minutes. Whether that was due to lack of breath or disgust/fear at what Houdini might unleash next is up to them to decide.

Mosey up to Grace Church/Stairway to Heaven

Sets of 7s

Y’all know the drill: one exercise at the bottom, up the steps (hitting EVERY STEP, PETA #NoShortCuts) and the other at the top until the set is complete.

Set 1: Teabaggers at the bottom / Fairy Jacks at the top (“If I go that low, something my come out.” –Winslow)

Set 2: Merkins at the bottom / Shoulder presses at the top

Set 3: 4ct LBCs at the bottom / Big Boys at the top

Plankorama  between each set till everbody’s done / start the following set together.

Note: #Mumblechatter completely non-existent at this point with exception of a Houdini comment in response to Winslow’s comment above that had the rest of the PAX dodging the lightning strike since we were on consecrated ground.

Mosey back to the Peace Center

The Beast

For the Old School portion: an old Bartman Favorite. Take a lap around the Peace Center, stopping at three stations along the way to complete 6 rep sets of the designated exercise. Today’s curve ball: all the #SugarRays flying off the front and fudging on their form do burpees instead of planking up at the finish while they wait on the six. #FormIsKing

Round 1: Hand Release Merkins

Round 2: Teabagger Jump Squats (Get LOW. Get HIGH.)

Round 3: Big boy situps

Round 4: Hand Release Merkins redux

#Mumblechatter kicks back into gear. Something about a rusty penny that YHC thankfully missed.


Flutters x 20 IC

Dying cockroach x 20 IC

Dollies x 20 IC

Bigboy Situps x 20




  • Good times, albeit a fairly quiet session downtown. One of these days we’ll get Snowden back here to really freak out the locals
  • Prayers for two local women in a desperate fight with cancer (Lyndsay and Tara). As always, #cancersucks
  • Praise for Floppy’s new son
  • Praise for Handy Manny’s baby on the way
  • …At which point Houdini delivers the coup de grace of the day regarding Manny’s moustache (aka “The Duster”) and the direct effects it had on Manny’s M and their current and growing numbers in the family. Relative newlywed Spongebob promptly received some voluntary advice on “how that stuff works” and we shall all now keep a lookout for the SpongeDuster to subtly announce the potential arrival of MiniSponge.
  • Also of note is that all of the above Duster Advice from Dear Houdini were dispensed in the classic “Burt Reynolds In Cosmo” pose. If you’re a #Hate and don’t know what that is, google it.
  • On second thought, don’t google it. Some things you can’t unsee…
  • Final Duster note: Soul Plane’s reaction to all of the proceedings was a prideful, knowing nod.
  • Drifter 6k coming up next weekend
  • Nice #fishingstory courtesy of Earthmove on YHC’s pre/post Drifter sessions last year. Seems like I had y’all rucking in the swamp starting at 0300 at this point. #pansies

As always, my honor and privilege to be amongst you all. Continue kicking ass.


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