Category 3 Vortex Hits Monarch Elementary

  • Workout Date - 06/09/2015
  • Q In Charge - Bambi
  • The PAX - Six String (FNG), Hulk Smash, Thumper, Cool Breeze, Soccer Mom, Cauliflower, Affordable Care Act (YHC), Whisper (FNG), ATM (FNG), The Situation, 3rd Base
  • AO -

Winds of change are upon F3 Greenville, boys.  Bambi had the Q this morning at Monarch Elementary and for the second Tuesday in a row, he brought a Vortex of Pain.  Before we can officially name this new AO, we had 3 FNGs check in and total 12 PAX this morning.  They were swept up in this Twister like a mobile home.  We welcome ATM, Six String, and Whisper to the gloom!

Like any Vortex, this one came with much fanfare.  Hoover pulled no punches with this brilliant ad for their Vortex 16 years ago.

Notice how this commercial conveniently fails to say, “This really sucks!”  Bambi must have hired the same marketing firm, because I can’t think of any cyclonic presence that has sucked more….. or can I?


SSH x 22

Shawn T’s (checking the exercise list….. nothing) x 20 (four count)

Merkin Jacks x 10 (four count)

The Thang

Bambi sent me a sketch of this Vortex a couple weeks ago and it looked like a military strategic map.  Of course, I came to the AO anyway to see what the fuss was about like a teenager in a horror flick.

Station 1: American Hammers x 20, then transition to Station 2 with another Bambi original, High School Cheerleaders (it’s not as fun as it sounds).  It’s lunges with a shoulder press.  Did I mention this was a kettle bell workout?

Station 2: Donkey Kongs (Bambi could dominate the kettle bell lexicon soon.) x 20, then transition to Station 3 with more High School Cheerleaders (opposite arm, still not fun).

Note:  Thumper tried valiantly to confuse Bambi by leaving his headlights on.  No such luck.

Station 3: Spider Monkeys x 20 (10 left arm/ 10 right arm). This is a plank in push up position, while rowing the kettle with your left arm 10 times, then rowing with your right arm 10 times.  Then we transition to Station four with The MC Hammer. This is similar to the Donkey Kong with lateral movement to the next station. Starting in the down squat position holding the kettle between the legs with both hands, stand from the squat sliding the left leg to meet the right leg, while swinging the kettle to shoulder height. As you drop the kettle, step out with the right leg and into a full squat. Continue this lateral slide to the next station.  You know what, maybe a video would help explain better.  Some of these guys need their beauty sleep.

Station 4 – The Arnold Schwarzenegger. Lying on your back, perform 20 kettlebell two handed bench presses.

Run a lap around the track, then REPEATO all stations using 30 reps, with transitions in between.

1 Whole MOM.  It was a Vortex of Pain, whaddya want from us?

LBCs x 25


It is time to officially choose the new AO and name it after one last trial run at Oakview Elementary scheduled for a rotating Q on Friday morning.  The need for a new AO is obvious with 12 PAX and 3 FNGs today.  Great work today and I look forward to seeing the FNGs in the future!




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