Burpee Fabrication

Aye, having contracted a wicked case of the Trail Bug, all of my Saturdays of late have been spent spelunking with the Ra**itsInParis either at our local bump at Paris Mountain or slogging around Table Rock. It came to my attention that the initiative had been taken on by none other than our Nan’tan (Ice) to #MakeLegacyGreatAgain. In exchange for one of those boss stickers from F3 Kirkland when he heads west next week, Ice requested that I bring a little of my weird thunder back to the original AO of F3 Swamp Rabbit.

Seeing as how that’s a #GodFatherOffer, I quickly agreed and set about trying to figure out what I could do to bring back that old greatness from yesteryear. Harkening back to the pre-expansion days when we saw Bartman, 1D, TBC, Punkin, Holla, and many more not just on Saturdays, but 3-4 times a week, I decided to hook up the way back machine with some #GoldenOldies and #Flayvorites with a twist or two just to keep it interesting..

19 (eventually 21) sauntered up in some breezy gloom to #MakeLegacyGreatAgain. Here’s what went down.

Warm up

Pop quiz: What’s the Mission of F3? Lots of hemming and hawing and shuffling of feet, but we eventually got to the 3 important words: Plant, Grow, Serve.

As we all know, the basic unit of F3 is the workout, and one of the basic components of a workout can, nay, SHOULD be none other than the humble, noble burpee.

Handrelease burpees x 10 OYO #foreshadowing

SSH x 20 IC

Monkeyhumpers x 10 IC

Handrealease Merkins x 10 IC

Mosey down to the bottom of 1D’s Hill. At which point #mumblechatter kicks into overdrive discussing YHC’s bald/red/shiny head, pronounced forehead veins, un-tanned biceps and various other shots across the bow. Y’all sure it’s a good idea to poke the bear that early and often?

Partner up

Quick discussion about how we can’t have a burpee until we, oh-so-carefully, build-a-burpee.

(H/T to Punkin Spice, whom I believe was the Originator of this insidious idea)

Build-a-Burpee Dora

Partner 1 works while Partner 2 runs 1D’s Hill to the speed hump (heh) and back. Flapjack, rinse repeato until all reps are completed.

Reps were burpee components:

Donkey kicks x 100

Handrelease merkins x 200

#crowdpleaser

Jump squats (arms overhead) x 300

At which point the PAX vocalize their regret of poking YHC at the beginning along with several off color remarks about my heritage.

About 5 minutes in, Handy Manny and Soul Plane come flying down the hill to bring our numbers to 21. In spite of the late start, they managed to catch up with most of the group to finish on time. A family of beasts, they are…

Some sort of awful plank-o-rama that required several forms of levitation led by Spongbob. What the hell do they teach you in hot yoga, man?

Mosey over to the Grassy Wall.

Sponge and Ice know what’s coming. Ice begins shaking his head in preparation for his Standard #Refusenik.

Ark 11s

Bigboy situp at the bottom x 1

Bear crawl up

Handrelease Burpees at the top x 10

Jameis Winston down

2 bigboys/9 burpees, etc until it’s 10 bigboys and 1 burpee

Ice goes full #Refusenik on the Jameis, complete with a single-fingered salute

#Mumblechatter grinds mostly to a halt.

Belk starts trying to hide Ice’s sippy cup in various spots around the AO

Squints starts openly praying for his M to call him home and put him out of his misery

Mosey back to the flags.

Don’t skip Leg Day

Dan Taylor Pyramid

1 teabagger/4 lunge ratio up to 5/20 and back down

Mary

Flutters x 20 IC

Rosalita x 20 IC

Dying cockroach x 20 IC

LBC x 20 IC

Russian Twist x 20 IC

Finito

‘Skine

• Good times and great to see a couple that I haven’t seen in a while in the gloom, namely TBC and Bartman. Honestly barely recognized Bartman and was worried that it was some sort of apparition. TBC, as always took some killer photos, making us all look much cooler and fitter than we really are.
• At some point, Ice and Homeward Bound are gonna switch names on us and nobody will be the wiser. #doppelgangers
• Happy birthday to BHO
• Satisfry missed his calling as an extra for the Revenant with that beard. At this point, we can’t tell if he’s in charge or if the beard had gone sentient and taken over. Not much difference regardless.
• Thanks to I-beam joining us from F3 Knoxville and the always loquacious Belk joining from the Mothership.
• Handrelease is a great way to up the ante, both on burpees and merkins. Keeps you more honest on form and reduces the ability to cheat. #HandRelease4Eva
• HOG Day coming up 4/30 with the Gideon’s Men and Homes of Hope
• BRR teams forming
• Prayers for the family of Officer Jacobs
• Prayers for the boy who somehow lost his way and perpetrated this horrific incident. Good talk from Earthmover how important our role as fathers is and how quickly it can come off the rails

That’s all I got, fellas. As always, it’s my honor.

Happy Easter.

Pax Propter Vim.