2019 – A Juicy Deuce

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  • Workout Date - 12/13/2019
  • Q In Charge - Your Mamma
  • The PAX - Confidential
  • AO - The 'Burbs

30 +/- 2 moist deucers attended the 5th annual Deuceable 9K at Cleveland Park, we waited for Nature Boy to arrive like his nuts were on fire to jump-start the contest but he failed to deliver and now he’s dead to us….

Gloom Observations – in the 1997 NBA Finals, Game 5 Michael Jordan added a chapter to his legend by showing up sick and suffering from flu-like symptoms & wills himself to 38 points against the Utah Jazz.  On December 13th 2019 Aflac sacked the F3 Superbowl with a tummy ache and let Junk Bond run the Deuceable 9K solo.  Junk proceeded to do all the reps for all the exercises and finish midway through the pack – that’s about as beast chode as you can get.  Atmospheric conditions were supposed to be a nightmare, however the Deuce gods were on our side today and I’ll be damned if it didn’t stop raining and hold off for the entire event.  00 upgraded this year and found a lanky speedster in Baby Gap, which propelled him to his first appearance on the Deuceable podium.  00 also practiced the route a few times over the past week, he knows how to prep for a big game & effectively recruit, unlike his beloved Gamecocks.  About half the competitors made a detour and decided to breeze by Greenville High School and the Drive Stadium, which by the way is nowhere close to the official Deuceable 9K course.  Double Windsor and Anchor Down ran their own race, they finished after the award ceremony/door prizes arriving to an empty parking lot & still had a great attitude – those dudes did work and that fires me up.  La Flimsy Lid and his uncle, Wilson, came to play and finished 4th, both are workhorses and executed at a high level this year.  Crash and Caviar continue to dominate the Taintem Bike division, they remain undefeated and welcome a worthy opponent to challenge them in Trump 2020.  The Rainbows & Pizza Pizza took part in the modified route which resulted in a full 10K, their strava map looks jacked and I am impressed they still made it back in about an hour.  Ellen and I did our best but simply couldn’t hang with the defending champs, who took the golden toilet seat again this year.  They have gone from Malone/Stockton to performing more along the lines of Jordan/Pippen – those dudes can deuce.

** Special thanks to Slim for providing some door prizes

Warm up:
Keep your ass in the car

The Taint:

Mile 1 (Bottom of Washington walking up) LUNGE WALK SINGLE COUNT X100

Mile 2 (McBee & Main / Ale House) LBCs X200

Mile 3 (Ridgeland & Cleveland) HAND-RELEASE MERKINS X50 

Mile 4 (Cleveland & Boxwood / Methodist Church) BURPEES X40

Mile 5 (Start of Woodland) RUSSIAN TWIST X200

Mile 6 (Start/finish) Mountain Climbers X200


Men’s Taint Master:

  • Kotter & Amelia
  • Hootie and Houdini
  • 00 and Baby Gap


Taintem Bike division:

  • Caviar and Crash



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